The Lindz, Monz, Hollz, and Jessz Show
Back in high school, starting in grade ten math class to be exact, us, "the girls", began writing down the stupid and funny things that ourselves and those around us would say. It extended into my personal life to include the antics of other classes and those not in my grade. It was all kept in the back on my agendas, and for ages I've been promising to type it up and give a copy to the original girls. And because this is my web page and I like to post nonsense that matters to me, I'm posting the great show here. A lot of the people quoted here I haven't seen in ages. There are a few quotes recorded that I can't remember the significance of. But here it is, in it's entirety. Enjoy.
Mr. Miller: That felt good didn't it Dylan, calling me a moron.
Mr. Miller: That's good, you can do it again next year.
Amanda: What was that song by the Carton Wheel?
Mr. Miller (during a lightning storm): You're allowed to go close you car windows if you carry this metal chair with you.
Mr. Miller: DYLAN GET BACK HERE!
Lilly: Justin's our dictator...I mean director!
Amanda: That's like french class, the coldness and the humming...
Amanda: Really? Lick the wall!
Chris the minister: Jesus loves you! Eat shit and die!
Amanda and Lilly: I know there are rival soccer teams and garden clubs, what about churches?
Mr. Wall: Are you nuts?! It's the final exam!!
Bobby: I gotta go get my walkman.
Miss Preston: Everyone needs permission to leave class, Bobby.
Bobby: Fucking communists!
Miss Preston: And the scabs would be picked upon.
Miss Preston: Trudeau liked to stir the pot.
Holly: You're such a blonde...ditzy..chihuahua!!!
Mr. Farq: Yeah Brad, Ryan told me you have good hands.
Mr. Wall: that, believe it or not, is the medieval version of the Smashing Pumpkins....*no response from the class*...it's a joke...
Lindsey K: My nipples are so hard they could cut glass.
Mr. Wall: YIPES!
Meg StJ: Are you aware that you just used the word yipes???
Chris Masson: It's a dark day for humanity. Liz's faith in me and Sesame Street...shattered.
Chris Masson: drib gib htiw xes evah dna knurd teg
Chris Masson: It is big, isn't it.
Chris Masson: That's why they call me Big Bird
Mrs. Walsh: I've always thought that about you, I thought, that boy's air brushed.
Holly: OH! And I'M allowed to fool around with him!
Holly: Let's rape Jason for his birthday! Want to?! I want to!! Huh?! You wanna tie him up? Let's!! We should tie him to a chair and blindfold him! Oh!!! I'm so excited!!!
Lilly: Holly, bite me. Brad (in the background, and takling to someone else): Where?!
Holly: Feel it it's squishy.
Brad: Bring your daughter in and I'll focus. Mrs Rabinovitch: She wouldn't be interested. Brad: Bring her in and she'll be interested, I guarentee!
Holly: Lindsey! No head!
Holly: I have a date with Mr. Amos. Ow ow!
Lindsey K: How many Kennedy's did she go through?
Lindsey K: I'm a superfly pimp! Yeah I got 5 whores. I even pimped a dead guy!
Dan: Are you drunk?!
Brad: Sometimes I wish I was a girl...
Monika: I'm the only one allowed to bite her big Christmas ham.
Holly: *giggles* Hollywood, my name's in that! Wouldn't it be funny if my last name was Wood? ahahahaha!
Sawyer: Can I borrow this?
Holly: I don't like moving body parts when I'm touching them.
Lilly to Jess: shut up poodle nose. Holly: Pug!!!
Lilly: Corey's such a lady.
Lilly: He knows pain, he's beautiful, and he's sexually active. What more could a person want?
Jess: How far have you gone?
Lilly: How's things with Andy?
Holly: Sweet n dandy!
Monika: He's not gay, he's 25!
Sawyer: I can do anything in an hour!
Mr. Amos: Short and thick does the trick!
Sarah: 123, crater free! Say it with me now. (drama class infomercial for zit remover)
Laura: I did hard?
Jess: Has Andy ever been up your shirt?
Holly: Not up! *thinks about this* Not down either!!!
Lauren: Just the other day he videotaped my boobs.
Lauren: I can do anything in a car.
Brad: Videotape this kid, he's squirting!!!
Jess: Who cummed on your agenda?
Sawyer: *mocking Brad* Cuz Brad's a big bad mother fucker...heh
Mr. Farq: Bradley come on. Brad: Sir I'm making money here!
Mr. Amos: Can I work with two girls at once?!
Holly: OMG Linds, look at that! Mrs. Rabinovitch: It's nice, but it's uncomfortable.
Holly: I used to be innocent.
Holly: That looks really gooey, can I touch it?!
Holly: *all excited* ooooooo Mr. Miller!
Holly: I wanna watch dirty dancing. Not the movie. Monika: *horrified look on her face*
Holly: I sooo want a mister big.
Lilly: Bike and Spuffy...
Holly: I'd be a slut. I'd be the biggest fuckin slut in the school.
Holly: Phil, I mean Christina...
Holly: I got really bad people, I got Bobby G. Jess: shhh! He's in this class! Holly: *looks around and blushes*
Mr. Miller: Loooooove the electricity.
Jess: I think I was giving him head.
Holly: Is your kitten still a kitten?
Holly: He's so BIG! *talking about Sawyer*
Holly: Who's huge?
Lilly: You're cute and stupid. Holly: I'm not cute!
Jess: Is there anything on my face? Lilly and Holly: Skin!
Mr. Farq: Bradley! Brad: I'm coming! Mr. Farq: Bradley!
Mr. Miller: Alright, let's try something here. *claps his hands* Pat: Aww I hate it when he does that. Lilly: Why? Mr. Miller: Lindsey! Lilly: Aww fuck!
Jay: I'm all over the place baby!
Mike: Brad wants to get Farq drunk so he can get some! Don't go with him man, I did and my ass still hurts!
Brad: *talking to Sawyer in the back of the classroom* I can get it out, it takes 2 seconds. Hold it at the other end Sawyer! Now just whack it. Come on! Whats wrong with you?
Lilly: Ewww, Holly, that's wet and sticky!
Holly: Linds please! Just let me do it! IT'S RISING!
Derek: Are you gonna make me come?